i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
