you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
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I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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