i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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