i think i have two assholes
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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