its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
