anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
