I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
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One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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