Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
