how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
