Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize