She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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