Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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