I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
