He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
