giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
