YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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