Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
