Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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