How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
