Whod you bang
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
