If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
