im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize