Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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