how can u be prego again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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