Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
