You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
