Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
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I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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