She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
