I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
