Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just puked most of my soul out..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
