We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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