Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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