Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
