so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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