My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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