I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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