I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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