we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
