Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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