Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
