I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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