it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
