apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
