Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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