my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
