Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
cat food counts as protein by the way
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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