You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
