he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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