I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
