I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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