i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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