he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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