Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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