Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
