Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
40s are totally the cure
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
