Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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