I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
