i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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