How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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