i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I intend to get homeless drunk
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
